there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
