I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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