he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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