Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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