I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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