No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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