He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
