I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
