And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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