I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
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My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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