Dual....:-)
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
