that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize