the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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