i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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