I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
