At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
