my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
