I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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