At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
