Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
