I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
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It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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