I cockslap morals
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
