Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
