Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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