i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
operation harelip BJ is a go
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
