If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
