my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
