i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
