I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
