Where are you?
In a non slutty way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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