I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
