two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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