How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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