There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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