Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
