God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
