I want to stick my p in your. b.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
