I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
