hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I supernannyed him into submission
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
