bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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