The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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