Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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