What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
