not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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