Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize