Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A bitchslap is in order.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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