omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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