Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
