how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
