the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
