was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
