I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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