i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
third nipple confirmed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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