I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize