Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
