My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
