Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
