Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
