He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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